


Dust

by ace_corvid



Series: All's fair in Ketterdam [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Six of Crows Fusion, Angst, Drabble, Inej!Roman, Kaz!Virgil, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Promises, Six of Crows AU, anyway, dramatic speeches, i wrote it a while ago and thought i may as well post it, idk if im gonna continue it either, idk what this is ok, kanej feels but its prinxiety, oof this is a heavy one guys, what do you mean i have 3 other fics i should be working on
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-14
Updated: 2019-01-14
Packaged: 2019-10-09 22:39:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17413874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ace_corvid/pseuds/ace_corvid
Summary: "Is it really so ridiculous? To think that you wouldn't come? You, Anxiety, the ruthless leader of the dregs, risking everything for an itsy bitsy spider?" Roman wore a wry smile, as if he already knew every answer vigil could ever give, and was to resigned to which one he thought he was sure to hear. Virgil never wanted to see it on Romans face again.“I would come.” Virgil asserted, his steely eyes never leaving Romans. He was clueless as to how to let Roman know he was speaking the truth; sincerity had become so fleeting, and genuineness only haunted shadows in the Barrel. Roman scoffed and let his gaze wander along the dull grey tones of the stretch of ocean they were surrounded by. All the emptiness in that scene, devoid of life and hope, and it was still easier to meet than Virgil's gaze.





	Dust

**Author's Note:**

> im having some six of crows feels, so take this lil drabble  
> i swear ill let my brain goblin write for my other fics soon  
> mocks yknow  
> anyway enjoy

"Anxiety," Roman called, catching a gloved hand in his grasp. "You've been avoiding me. Why?"

Virgil tried to swallow the lump in his throat, looking at Roman's steeled eyes and determined demeanour. The jig was up.

"You were hurt, I've been giving you the due recovery time-" his voice hoarse, lips pursed.

"Bullshit that's what it was, anxiety." Roman half yelled. Virgil flinched at the noise, but Roman didn't seem to notice. "Did you even want to rescue me, or was it just useful to you?"

Virgil yanked his hand out of Roman's grip, even the press of the leather suddenly becoming too much. He refused to let his voice become shaky, and it left his tone dry bland and emotionless. "Don't be ridiculous. Roman, of course I wanted to rescue you."

"Ridiculous? Is it really so ridiculous? To think that you wouldn't come? You, Anxiety, the ruthless leader of the dregs, risking everything for an itsy bitsy spider?" Roman wore a wry smile, as if he already knew every answer vigil could ever give, and was to resigned to which one he thought he was sure to hear. Virgil never wanted to see it on Romans face again.

“I would come.” Virgil asserted, his steely eyes never leaving Romans. He was clueless as to how to let Roman know he was speaking the truth; sincerity had become so fleeting, and genuineness only haunted shadows in the Barrel. Roman scoffed and let his gaze wander along the dull grey tones of the stretch of ocean they were surrounded by. All the emptiness in that scene, devoid of life and hope, and it was still easier to meet than Virgil's gaze.

“Of course, Anxiety. One must protect their assets, right down to the last worthless Suli boy. You didn't pay off my indenture for nothing.” Roman still didn't look at him, and Virgil desperately clamped down on all of the ugly emotions fighting their way up his throat, claws bared. Emotion was a weakness, and it was a weakness Virgil could never afford, no matter how much kruge found it's way into his hands.

"Roman. If everything ended right now; if the leaves fell withering off the dying trees, if Ketterdam turned to dust before us, if the water beneath us turned stormed itself into a tempest, or even if the angels turned us away in the reckoning, and the god that had abandoned us refused us once again, I would come. My first priority would still be you." Virgil whispered to him, taking Roman's bare hand and pressing it to his face. Ghosts of the reapers barge ripped behind his eyes and tore his nerves to pieces, but Virgil kept his eyes locked on the red of Roman's. Ironic, how the only one he could bring himself to touch was the only who knew that he could not bare it. Pulling his hand away, Roman finally looked him in the eye.

"I suppose that is your version of love; prioritizing. You have delusions of the Saints on their knees before you... but you can't even bring yourself to feel." Roman said slowly, once again tearing away his gaze, deafening silence louder than the waves carrying them away from the island that held what should have been their death sentence. "Is that how you would you love me, then? _You-_ You _cannot_ love freely Anxiety- it costs something to _you_ to give that away. Like a piece of your heart. Maybe it's trauma that's done it to you, but you cage your heart in your chest, and you guard it, while I have placed mine on my sleeve, for you to see. It wouldn't be fair."

"And what would be fair?" Anxiety said weakly, wishing to slip back into the comfort of his mask of cold indifference. "Life? Nothing's fair, Roman, least not Ketterdam."

"Anxiety. You know I more than anyone see the good in you. I know your soul, and I see it blackened with the atrocities you commit daily, but I don't know you. I don't know your history, I don't know why you continue to push me away, and I don't know your god damn name. And here _you_ are telling me I'm the most important thing in the world to you?" Roman turns and starts walking away and in a fit of desperation, Virgil shouts something, anything to make him stay.

"My name is Virgil!" It rips itself out of his throat, pathetic and half a cry. It's a show of vulnerability on a level Virgil couldn't remember last experiencing. He feels like a child again. He wishes he could be. It's raw and emotional and everything Anxiety isn't meant to be.  
Roman stops walking, annoyingly composed.

"Virgil, huh?" Roman says, not quite meeting his eye. "It's nice to meet you."

When Roman walks away this time, Virgil sinks to the deck of the ship, and tries to fight off memories of an underwater playground of corpses and waterlogged skin.

He doesn't succeed.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Roman: I should have left you on that street (boat?) corner where you were standing  
> Vigil, sobbing: bUT YOU DiD


End file.
